tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87778662011-04-21T12:07:24.646-07:00Oh, the things I hear as an attendant in a unisex restroom.t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.comBlogger1141100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1144095328613288872006-04-03T12:27:00.000-07:002006-04-03T13:15:28.830-07:00

Guy: "Sorry you have to spend your night telling people how to use the sink."Y.E.L.R.A.: "It's what I signed on for. Eh, what can I do?"I could quit.So I did.The story goes like this: Business at the restaurant has been very slow these days. The beginning of the year is not the best time to be working in a restaurant. Plus, it's been raining like the dickens in San Francisco the last month. I

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1143228517147362772006-03-24T11:27:00.000-08:002006-03-24T11:28:37.146-08:00

Suit: "Is there a lot of drug use in this bathroom?"

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1143228444848855932006-03-24T11:24:00.000-08:002006-03-24T11:27:24.850-08:00

German Lady #1: "Have you been to Disneyland?"German Lady #2: "In Los Angeles?"GL #1: "Yes."GL #2: "Oh, yes."GL #1: "Well, this bathroom is so much like Disneyland. You know what I am talking about? Alice in Wonderland!"GL #2: "Oh, yes."Y.E.L.R.A.: "Or Mr. Toad's Wild Ride."GL #1: "Oooh. That, too."

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1143228142145503052006-03-24T11:19:00.000-08:002006-03-24T11:22:22.156-08:00

After admiring the sink.Man: "We were doing this remodeling deal and my architect tried to talk me into formed concrete counter tops. I told him 'no'."Filipina: "How many people can say 'my architect'? That's the difference between you and me, Joe. You can claim to have an architect."

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1143101186471971932006-03-23T00:05:00.000-08:002006-03-23T00:06:26.473-08:00

Guy: "Can I order a drink from you?"

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1143101122479624072006-03-23T00:03:00.000-08:002006-03-23T00:05:22.490-08:00

Guy: "Is the water infused with some sort of antibacterial?"Y.E.L.R.A: "Sir, the soap is right in front of you."

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1142973900615322492006-03-21T12:42:00.000-08:002006-03-21T12:45:00.616-08:00

After explaining how to turn on faucet:Drunk Guy: "I'm... I'm kinda retarded."***************Same situation, different guy:Different Drunk Guy: "Oh yeah. I forgot. Maybe it's because every time I'm in here I'm hammered."

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1142973705921040922006-03-21T12:39:00.000-08:002006-03-21T12:41:45.933-08:00

Woman in Stall #1: "Are you sitting or standing?"Man in Stall #2: "I'm standing!"

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1142903999498030482006-03-20T16:28:00.000-08:002006-03-20T17:19:59.570-08:00

While Y.E.L.R.A is all for love and a couple's right to give each other affection there is a line that must not be crossed. I say this because Saturday night was chock full of ugly love.The first instance of ugly love arrived when a man and a women used the restroom. After they finished they decided to sit on a chair right outside of the restroom and make out. Seeing as how there is no door to

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1142584406533430192006-03-17T00:30:00.000-08:002006-03-17T00:33:26.546-08:00

Short Guy with Lisp: "I'm rich, but this bathroom is better than mine!"What is the correct response to that one? I would probably prefer, "Thank you for telling me that, sir. Now, I am going to fart on your head."

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1142527644049984632006-03-16T08:38:00.000-08:002006-03-16T08:48:38.870-08:00

Drunk Guy: "This place is so avant garde!"Y.E.L.R.A.: "Oh, really?"Sad to say that this is not the first time someone has described the restroom as an artistic movement that pushes the boundaries of what is considered the norm. In retrospect, these people are technically correct, but I doubt that it applies to a place to pee. Unless you're talking about works done by Marcel Duchamp. Alas, it's

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1142323776326992712006-03-13T23:51:00.000-08:002006-03-14T00:09:36.386-08:00

So, Friday night was chock full of fun. There was a camera crew hanging around. Not only did they have two cameras shooting their pilot, but they were lighting up the place like a cheap Christmas tree.That last statement made no sense. I'm leaving it in anyway.Some people really need to be hit over the head with a mallet. Take the teenage girl that asked me the following question:Teen Girl: "So,

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1142111489799263082006-03-11T13:01:00.000-08:002006-03-11T13:11:29.816-08:00

Excitement galore this Friday night in Y.E.L.R.A.Land when TV came a-knockin'. Of course I was not involved. Thankfully. Turns out ABC filmed a reality date show at the restaurant in a vain attempt to milk more money out of a soon-to-be-dead form of "entertainment." It had something to do with a man and a woman eating dinner, talking and... Excuse me for a moment...*YAWN*Okay... Back to the show.

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1141933673160884832006-03-09T11:47:00.000-08:002006-03-09T11:47:53.160-08:00

Drunk Guy: "This is my funnest trip to the bathroom ever."

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1141933582124275382006-03-09T11:35:00.000-08:002006-03-09T11:46:22.166-08:00

Guy: "Can I give you some advice?"Y.E.L.R.A.: "Sure."Guy: "You should tell your boss that you need cupholders in the stalls."Y.E.L.R.A.: "Oh! Really?"Guy: "Yeah. 'Cuz sometimes you want to bring your cocktail with you."Y.E.L.R.A.: "Well. I will definitely keep that in mind."Guy: "Yeah. I'm always looking for ways to improve places."

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1141858775683076032006-03-08T14:57:00.000-08:002006-03-08T14:59:35.693-08:00

Guy: "Is there soap in the water, or am I just crazy?"Y.E.L.R.A.: "You're just crazy."

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1141762024752134802006-03-07T12:00:00.000-08:002006-03-07T12:14:22.960-08:00

Two women stand in front of the wall of mirrors and fix their makeup. I only heard bits and pieces. Wish I had heard the whole conversation.Woman #1: "When we both dump our boyfriends we should totally go there."Woman #2: "Oh, totally." ***********************Woman #1: "We should be bad and wear thongs all the time." ***********************Woman #1: "I've always wanted a pool boy."Woman

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1141679587874104112006-03-06T12:42:00.000-08:002006-03-06T13:13:07.950-08:00

That title would have been funnier a couple of months ago. Now everyone has an excuse to make gay jokes. Take these retards for example:Guy #1: You want to share a stall?Guy #2: Depends. Are you a pitcher or a catcher?Guy #1: (Raises hand and does best "gay" voice) Bottom!I'd like to announce that the word "Brokeback" has officially been retired from the lexicon.I'm not disappointed that it

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1141427281125151902006-03-03T15:03:00.000-08:002006-03-03T15:08:01.126-08:00

Vile, Witch of a Woman: "What are these tips for?"Y.E.L.R.A.: "Ummm... For me?"Vile, Witch of a Woman: "No, but what are they there for?"Y.E.L.R.A.: "Well... So I can pay my bills."Vile, Witch of a Woman: "No, why should I tip you?"Y.E.L.R.A.: "Ma'am, it's not an obligation."Vile, Witch of a Woman: "Yeah, but why would I tip you? What do you add to the overall quality of the restaurant?"

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1141426973587610932006-03-03T15:00:00.000-08:002006-03-03T15:02:53.600-08:00

A Scottish Woman tries to enter a stall that is occupied.Y.E.L.R.A: "These stalls are open over here."Scottish Woman: "What's the difference?"Y.E.L.R.A: "Ummm... They're open and there's no one in them."Scottish Woman: "Sounds good to me."

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1141330916202405952006-03-02T12:17:00.000-08:002006-03-02T12:23:12.653-08:00

Bathroom related material:A Flickr set of Restroom Signs.If you have your own, the poster has also set up a public group.(via MetaFilter)

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1141287467207464002006-03-02T00:14:00.000-08:002006-03-02T00:17:47.206-08:00

Blonde: "So, when I left my hotel this evening a homeless lady asked me for some money. I was hesitant because I only like to give money if it's deserving or a gift. So, she was like, 'You have a Gucci purse, but you won't give me a dollar?' It's actually Prada. That's the problem with being in a city. Everyone expects you to give them money."

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1141287041962451512006-03-02T00:08:00.000-08:002006-03-02T00:10:41.963-08:00

UCBM #1 tries to throw his paper towel in the trashcan. He misses despite the fact that he is standing right next to the trashcan.UCBM #1: And, I used to play basketball.UCBM #2: Sure you did.

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1141286884154462722006-03-02T00:07:00.000-08:002006-03-02T00:08:04.163-08:00

Old Guy: "What? They couldn't afford two bathrooms?"

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1141192987257084552006-02-28T22:03:00.000-08:002006-02-28T22:13:53.123-08:00

Ultra-Cool Black Man #1: "It's about time we get out of here."UCBM #2: "Naw, man. I'm cool here."UCBM #3: " Naw, we can just go to the place down the street."UCBM #2: "Is it good?"UCBM #1: "It's all right."UCBM #2: "As long as I can shake my butt... "UCBM #1: "... That's all that matters."( NOTE: UCBM #2 had a mohawk that I so dearly wanted for myself, but knew that it would not look very good on

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1141161642991186962006-02-28T13:17:00.000-08:002006-02-28T13:20:43.003-08:00

Chinese Guy #1: "Did you figure out the faucets?"Chinese Guy #2: "Yeah. I thought at first if I said, 'turn on!' it would turn on. I finally figured it out."

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1141112641715552452006-02-27T23:26:00.000-08:002006-02-27T23:44:01.726-08:00

Woman #1: Mmm... Smell the soap. It smells so good.Woman #2: (no response)Woman #1: Why are you holding your nose?Woman #2: Well, you never know what people are doing in here.Woman #1: Huh?Woman #2: I'm a bit O.C.D.

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1140997303164722552006-02-26T15:40:00.000-08:002006-02-26T15:41:43.173-08:00

Woman: "I feel like I'm in Church!"

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1140768487926208092006-02-24T00:06:00.000-08:002006-02-24T09:06:56.773-08:00

Guy: "I think I'm getting the flu, dude. This is not good."

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1140683032533218412006-02-23T00:22:00.000-08:002006-02-23T00:23:52.533-08:00

Moron: "I feel like I'm in Mesopotamian times."See... told you.

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1140682369357260312006-02-23T00:08:00.000-08:002006-02-23T00:12:49.356-08:00

Y.E.L.R.A.: "Have a good night..."Man With Odd Eye: "Good night. (pause) And your position here is... ?"Y.E.L.R.A: "I'm the restroom attendant, sir."Man With Odd Eye: "Oh, I was just wondering. I... uh..."He then sped off.

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1140682062371870022006-02-23T00:06:00.000-08:002006-02-23T00:07:42.373-08:00

Man: "Oooh... This place is hip. Is this communal?"Y.E.L.R.A.: "Yes."Man: "Where are the communal showers? Ha ha! Communal showers."

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1140681758800470932006-02-23T00:00:00.000-08:002006-02-23T00:02:38.813-08:00

Man: "These are the same sinks they have in San Quentin."

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1140505983629550412006-02-20T23:00:00.000-08:002006-02-20T23:13:03.640-08:00

Take this woman for example.At 9:00 on Saturday evening her friends helped her get to the bathroom. She fell at least one time. I was a little alarmed to see that this was going on because it was too early for these sort of shenanigans. I usually see this sort of thing after the 11:00pm mark. However, time is relative and all that.She went into one of the stalls while her friends waited for her.

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1140079848620314362006-02-16T00:41:00.000-08:002006-02-16T00:50:49.173-08:00

A woman in her late 60s/early 70s walked in. She had a stunned look on her face.I turned to greet her. "Looking for the restroom?" I asked."Yes," she replied."Okay, this stall over here is available."She stood in front of the stall soor with an astonished look on her face. This look was akin to Early Man discovering the Monolith in Stanley Kubrick's 2001."Dis is dee bathroom?" she asked in a her

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1139747215099677802006-02-12T04:05:00.000-08:002006-02-12T04:26:58.533-08:00

The brainiacs that organized the Halloween Party* were up to no good again this Saturday night. It was the same situation as last time, except no costumes. I assume it had something to do with Valentine's Day. Thankfully no one was dressed as Cupid.Your Ever Lovin' Restroom Attendant was on a warpath yet again. I came to a conclusion early in the evening that I was not going to take shit from

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1139512546101470492006-02-09T11:05:00.000-08:002006-02-09T11:15:46.153-08:00

A guy brought a group of friends into the restroom and pointed out one of the handicapped stalls."... and then I walked into the stall and she followed me in," he continued. "She then started hitting on me."The crowd was astonished and replied with things like "No!" and "What did you do?""I got out of there and ran upstairs."After hearing this I was a bit intrigued. I was also a bit amused. The

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1139344876338546252006-02-07T12:11:00.000-08:002006-02-07T12:43:52.510-08:00

Geez...Talk about a Bizarro weekend. Something about the moon's gravitational pull or unexpected reactions to comic strips threw the weekend off. Nothing went according to plan.The crowd was odd. None of the restaurants usual crowd came by. Usually I recognize several faces in the crowd, but not a damn soul. Alas. I don't know what we did to deserve that one.To start things off, on Friday night

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1139089456472071732006-02-04T13:38:00.000-08:002006-02-04T13:44:16.483-08:00

Two women were standing next to each other, washing their hands, and talking. Woman #1 was remarking to the other how cute Woman #2's date was. She pointed out that when Woman #2 left to go use the restroom he was looking around, waiting for her, and really had nothing else to do. She said that was really cute.Then Woman #2 reached over and started making out with Woman #1.I swear I am not making

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1138854512586108972006-02-01T20:18:00.000-08:002006-02-01T20:28:32.626-08:00

Peter North dined at our fine establishment the other night.I really don't have much to say about this. I just thought it was an interesting conversation starter. Or possibly a conversation killer. Whichever.

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1138853031295166972006-02-01T19:51:00.000-08:002006-02-01T20:03:51.326-08:00

The other night one of the valets told me that some residents of an apartment building across the street from the restaurant have started a mini war. These residents are apparently upset that the valets take up all the parking spaces on the street. They've threatened to get the valets fired.I understand the frustration over parking spaces, especially in this city. However, these residents are

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1138745664796716812006-01-31T13:58:00.000-08:002006-01-31T22:02:21.463-08:00

You're looking at the lamest tip I have ever received. A man in his mid to late 50s gave me this and said, "Spend a week in Cambodia on this."I promptly thanked him. The main reason was because he left in on my tip plate and I was several feet away from it. I could not see it. For a brief moment I thought it was something like a five or a ten. All I knew was that it did not resemble a one dollar

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1138354422412556312006-01-27T01:27:00.000-08:002006-01-27T01:33:42.423-08:00

To break up the monotony I've decided to post a picture. And this is not just any old picture. This sign comes all the way from Prague.A friend took the picture while on holiday for New Year's Eve.Someone needs a restroom attendant. Too bad I don't speak Czech 'cuz I would enjoy living in Europe for a year or so.Thanks for the pic Steve-O!

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1138309260097386852006-01-26T12:40:00.000-08:002006-01-26T13:01:00.163-08:00

I was standing there, minding my own business, when Creepy Guy walked in. I call him Creepy Guy because I got a strange vibe from him when he had visited the restroom earlier. The following conversation reaffirmed my feelings of creepiness:Creepy Guy: So, I'm hanging with my friend who's the boringest motherfucker on the face of this planet unless he has some bud in him, so, do you know where I

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1138048001871789492006-01-23T12:13:00.000-08:002006-01-23T12:26:41.930-08:00

Mr. CrankypantsMcButthead entered the restroom and I directed him to an open stall. After he was finished, he started washing his hands.Mr. CrankypantsMcButthead: Can I ask you a question?Y.E.L.R.A.: SureMr. CrankypantsMcButthead: Why'd you tell me where to go?Y.E.L.R.A.: I'm doing my job.Mr. CrankypantsMcButthead: Yeah, but why did you tell me where to go?Y.E.L.R.A.: If you have a problem with

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1137972669368969812006-01-22T15:10:00.000-08:002006-01-22T15:31:09.450-08:00

A tall, skinny Asian chick comes into the restroom.Tall, Skinny Asian Chick: Is it your job to be in the bathroom all night?Y.E.L.R.A: It sure is.Tall, Skinny Asian Chick: Oh wow! That's so exciting!She then hugged me. I feigned interest and lamely hugged her back. I didn't know her, plus she struck me as a few bricks shy of a load.Later in the evening she entered with a tiny, gay Asian man. They

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1137885925619423472006-01-21T15:22:00.000-08:002006-01-21T15:25:25.630-08:00

I overheard some 20-ish women talking about how their friend is sleeping with her boss. The one girl explained to her friends how the boss flew their friend to New York and other minor details.In describing the boss, the story-teller said, "And he's old. He's in his forties."*sigh*

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1137744952122993222006-01-20T00:12:00.000-08:002006-01-20T00:18:38.966-08:00

Heartbreak Number OneGuy #1: So, that's it? You guys are over?Guy #2: Pretty much.Guy #1: But, you guys are great together. What happened?Guy #2: She wants to have her career and children. It wouldn't work out. She can only have one or the other. She's shouldn't have to give up her career. She's worked hard this far to get where she is at.Guy#1: Yeah. Maybe you can work it out.Guy #2:

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1137660655663148212006-01-19T00:31:00.000-08:002006-01-19T00:50:55.726-08:00

As with any job, my job has an insane amount of repetition. Most of the time I'm letting people know how to use the faucets."Lift the handle," I tell them. Constantly. It's not their faults. The designer really had aesthetics -- not practicality -- in mind when he designed our sinks. They faucet handles are partially hidden, so most people think that the taps are automatic. Newcomers to the

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1137659461436581052006-01-19T00:28:00.000-08:002006-01-19T00:31:01.496-08:00

Ditzy Chick: Is this a unisex bathroom?Y.E.L.R.A: Yes.Ditzy Chick: So... does that mean that guys use it, too?

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1137284022757291692006-01-14T16:04:00.000-08:002006-01-14T16:13:42.770-08:00

Last night Manager #1 walked into the restroom.Manager #1: Is everything okay down here?Y.E.L.R.A: Yeah. How is it up there?Manager #1: Kinda mellow.I then noticed he was scoping out the restroom. He then left and went upstairs. After a minute or so, Manager #2 enters the restroom.Manager #2: Did Manager #1 come talk to you?Y.E.L.R.A: Yeah. Why? What's going on?Manager #2: Oh, don't worry about

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1137186646982177732006-01-13T12:53:00.000-08:002006-01-13T13:10:47.050-08:00

Y.E.L.R.A.: Ma'am, there's an open stall over here.Idiot Woman: Oh, wow! This is cool. Does this mean I have to give you some pesos now?No, Idiot Woman. What it means is that you need to get punched in the nose for that remark.

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1137101996607408672006-01-12T13:16:00.000-08:002006-01-12T13:39:56.656-08:00

Last Friday evening a Cougar showed up at the restaurant. (Go ahead, follow the link. I'll be here when you get back.)Back? Good!I had no clue who this woman was, much less she was a cougar until later in the evening. My first contact with this woman was when she walked into the restroom. One of our bussers was showing her where the restroom was. He looked as though he was bear about to gnaw off

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1136925228189568312006-01-10T11:24:00.000-08:002006-01-12T13:40:37.336-08:00

December 31st, 2005.I arrived to work at approximately 6pm that evening. Having spent the last two days driving across country and arriving home at 5 o'clock Saturday morning, I can safely say that I was not in the mood to work. All I really wanted to do was spend time with friends and tie one on. However, I had the previous two weeks off. Therefore, Y.E.L.R.A. was feeling a bit

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1136714002847778622006-01-08T01:12:00.000-08:002006-01-08T01:53:22.936-08:00

I really want to tell you all about my New Year's Eve, but this evening was so annoying and is still fresh in my mind. Therefore, I will give you a few stories about Saturday January 7th, 2006.**********************************Story #1Man: Can I ask you a question?Y.E.L.R.A.: SureMan: What's up with the unisex bathroom?Y.E.L.R.A.: That's sort of a rhetorical question, isn't it?Man: No, I think

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1136430267800596412006-01-04T18:55:00.000-08:002006-01-04T19:04:54.673-08:00

In my previous post I noted that no one vomited in any of the stalls.Although I was precise to state that said vomiting did not happen in the stalls, I do have to mention that vomiting did occur in the confines of the restaurant. Apparantly the stairs leading to basement -- where the restroom is located -- became the setting for someone's moment to barf. Thankfully for me the barfer did not

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1136416251118724482006-01-04T15:02:00.000-08:002006-01-04T15:10:51.120-08:00

Yes, Y.E.L.R.A. had to work on New Year's Eve.Don't be sad for me. I had the previous 2 weeks off. It's not like I intend on ringing in 2007 in a restroom.I have some stories to share. Surprisingly no one vomited in any of the stalls. I'll keep the first one brief because I'm currently serving a stint of jury duty. It's occupying a chunk of my time. Plus, I'm feeling a bit lazy.New Year's Eve

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1135104039480011922005-12-20T10:37:00.000-08:002005-12-20T10:40:39.490-08:00

Woman #1: Soooo... what are you getting to eat?Woman #2: I'm getting the spare ribs.Woman #1: The spare ribs?Woman #2: Yeah, it was either that or the cod. I had to ask Mary what cod was because I was all, like, "I don't know what cod is! What's cod?" I'm not eating cod.

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1134815332539758352005-12-17T01:50:00.000-08:002005-12-17T02:28:53.720-08:00

What a wonderful evening I had. The restaurant is not usually open for lunch, but today they made an exception. A large party was held in the afternoon. While I was not present for this party, I caught the tail end of it. It was still going on when I arrived to work at 6 p.m.Of course the restroom was a pig sty. In fact, someone had puked in one of the stalls. That was a fine "how do you do?"It

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1134775019206179002005-12-16T14:50:00.000-08:002005-12-16T15:16:59.293-08:00

Oh, man. I cannot wait for the holidays to be over.It's not that I'm a Scrooge or anything. I'm just tired of dealing with really drunk people and/or idiots. I'll give you some fine examples:Example #1:A drunk man walks in. I let him know that the third stall down is open. He immediately went to the first stall and started pushing. Since it was occupied and locked, he was having some

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1134673294189430532005-12-15T10:53:00.000-08:002005-12-15T11:02:01.736-08:00

Lost Man: "Does this elevator go down?"Y.E.L.R.A.: "No, it goes up."Lost Man: "Up?"Y.E.L.R.A.: "Up."Lost Man: "Well, how do I go down?"Y.E.L.R.A.: "There is no down, just up."Lost Man: "No down?Y.E.L.R.A.: "No down."Lost Man: "Well, I need to get out of this building."Y.E.L.R.A.: "Ok, then take the elevator up, walk through the restaurant, and go out the front door."You'd think that he would

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1134595489780418912005-12-14T12:58:00.000-08:002005-12-14T13:24:49.833-08:00

Along with the holidays comes increased drinking.Along with increased drinking comes vomiting.As you know from previous posts, I come in contact with vomiters. It's not the most pleasant part of my job, but I'm really not responsible for cleaning up such messes. Thank the Lord for small favors.Last Friday evening a woman entered a stall and was in there for fifteen or so minutes. I though nothing

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1134593902244159702005-12-14T12:45:00.000-08:002005-12-14T12:58:22.290-08:00

I recently found out that I have new powers.I can tell the bartenders to cut someone off if they've had a little too much to drink.I guess it goes without saying that I'm the person who would pay the most attention to people in the restaurant. I come into contact with the most people. Plus, I interact with them more. Hell, I have nothing better to do.As the night progresses -- and this is most

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1134171221102272332005-12-09T15:19:00.000-08:002005-12-09T15:33:41.146-08:00

So, since this is the holiday season the restaurant is booked solid this month with parties. Lots of parties.Lots of parties with open bars.Open bars paid by employers.***The following is directed to the clientel of my restaurant.***A word to the wise: If your employer springs for a large party with an open bar, make sure you bring enough money to tip people. Tips are never included when

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1133689367786117002005-12-04T01:21:00.000-08:002005-12-04T01:42:47.840-08:00

Yeah, this one is so much better than possibly meeting Matthew Perry or rumours of Will Smith coming to the restaurant. Celebrity sightings are a dime a dozen down there in La La Land, but over here we still get starstruck every so often. Tonight was the first time I was starstruck while working at this fine establishment.Hugh Jackman came into the restaurant tonight.I heard various people

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1133513824332066322005-12-02T00:37:00.000-08:002005-12-02T00:57:04.393-08:00

I woman walked into the restroom tonight with a look of absolute horror on her face. I let her know which stalls were open, but she just stood there. Like many people who are stunned about the restroom, I tried to coax her into a stall."Go ahead, ma'am. These stalls are open." I motioned towards the open stalls.She just stood there with the same look on her face. Eventually she blurted out, "Is

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1133423837206369872005-11-30T23:34:00.000-08:002005-11-30T23:58:52.713-08:00

I seem to have taken a small break from the blog scene.In the last ten days Your Ever-Lovin' Restroom Attendant got engaged, got sick, ate a lot of food, got sicker, and eventually returned to work last Friday. Seeing as how that was the day after Thanksgiving, everyone was eating leftovers and not going out to work. Needless to say, I only worked 2 hours and 45 minutes.In our lame attempt to

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1132550300248218282005-11-20T21:15:00.000-08:002005-11-20T21:18:20.263-08:00

Goofball: "Do they have these in Turkey?"Turkish Guy: "No."Are you sure, Turkish Guy? I thought Islamic countries were full of unisex restrooms. They kind of go hand in hand, don't they?

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1132481658494062592005-11-20T02:06:00.000-08:002005-11-20T02:14:18.566-08:00

I heard the stupidest thing tonight. A gentleman -- and I used that word in the most incorrect way -- was amazed by the restroom."It reminds me of the Jetsons," he said.Ah, yes. I see the connection. George and Jane often had candles lit in their living room. Their apartment building? Made entirely out of wood and had mirrors everywhere. I remember quite fondly the episode where they decided to

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1132393278990974972005-11-19T01:37:00.000-08:002005-11-19T01:48:45.056-08:00

Matthew Perry ate at the restaurant tonight. I tingled with anticipation in hopes that I would meet him.Alas, he didn't have to go potty.Do celebrities have extra special bladders that I'm not aware of? Perhaps they get the extra large ones so they don't have to go that often. They should cover this on an an episode of Nip/Tuck.

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1132313400582461592005-11-18T02:58:00.000-08:002005-11-19T01:49:56.623-08:00

Y.E.L.R.A was on a warpath tonight.The story goes something like this:A certain retailer that is opening a couple of stores in this fine city this weekend had a party at the restaurant. This party was attended by the usual people who come for other parties: young socialites of this fine city who will go anywhere to be seen. Granted, they're not on the caliber of Paris Hilton, but they're just as

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1132262419654780762005-11-17T12:52:00.000-08:002005-11-17T13:20:19.713-08:00

A man walked up to me last night and said, "This is the most fucked up bathroom I've ever been in."My response: "Sorry you feel that way."How else am I to respond? Should I have joined in with the idiot and talk shit about my workplace? Perhaps I should have said, "Yeah, verily 'tis true this place of rest is rather confusing. 'Tis rather unfortunate that your mechanical skills are limited when

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1132077995127689182005-11-15T09:48:00.000-08:002005-11-15T10:06:35.200-08:00

I usually direct people away from the handicapped stalls. It's mainly because I don't want to hear them complain that there isn't any soap or towels in said stalls. They're the only ones with sinks, but we don't stock anything because people flush the paper towels down the toilet. Why? No one knows. Each stall is equipped with a little thing called a trash can. The problem with flushing said

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1131351492423783562005-11-07T00:05:00.000-08:002005-11-07T00:18:12.506-08:00

Gather around, children! Listen to my story. You're gonna like this one.The 300-600 people that were expected for Sunday evening ended up being something like 75-100 people. Apparently a major company was rolling out three products and wanted to throw a party for its employees. They chose to rent out our restaurant for the evening. We were all prepared to stay very, very late. I planned my Monday

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1131270222431567822005-11-06T01:23:00.000-08:002005-11-06T01:43:42.480-08:00

I feel I should bring this one to an end.The Friday of the 500 was one crazy night. As soon as last call came, the restaurant was officially closed. Everyone had to leave, including myself. I was not about to hang out any longer. After I clocked out I waiting in the main dining area because the crowd of people were funneling through the front door. I had no way of getting out until they left. As

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1131058615935226682005-11-03T14:20:00.000-08:002005-11-03T14:56:55.996-08:00

My previous post must have some readers thinking that last Friday night was the most chaotic thing that I've ever seen. I'll let you in on a little secret: They're right. That's not to say that I didn't make the best of it. For one thing, my coworker and I passed the time by tossing a roll of toilet paper from one end of the restroom to the other. No one seemed to mind it. In fact, a few people

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1130870520623973582005-11-01T10:07:00.000-08:002005-11-01T11:23:08.270-08:00

The first few hours I worked on Friday night were extremely calm. Since I usually start around 6pm, I had three hours before the party started. The restaurant was a bit slow because we couldn't accept reservations after a certain time. As I waited, I knew that this was the calm before the storm. The best thing I could do was just brace myself.Then the people started to arrive at the restaurant.

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1130807020429479582005-10-31T16:37:00.000-08:002005-11-01T10:01:08.146-08:00

The Tale of the One-Legged Black CowboyFriday night started off rather strange. At roughly 6:30 in the evening, a odd looking bald black man wearing a suede cowboy hat limped out of a stall. He removed his hat and placed in on the surface of the sink.The unique thing about our sink is that it is a flat surface. For the untrained eye it looks like another bar. Good God sometimes I wish it was a

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1130579856680099892005-10-29T02:52:00.000-07:002005-10-29T02:58:46.813-07:00

Good God Almighty! I survived the 500 people.Oh man do I have stories to tell you. Unfortunately I just got off an hour ago and it's 3am. I thought I could type but my motor skills are failing me. Just to let you know, all next week I'm going to dedicate my postings to this evening.Be forwarned. It got craaaaaaazy.I'll cover as much as I can. From the eccentric one-legged black cowboy to the

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1130484442114707422005-10-28T00:17:00.000-07:002005-10-28T00:27:22.116-07:00

The following happened this evening:Crazy Lady: "You know what I told the guy who was in here last time? Did he tell you?"Y.E.L.R.A: "No... what?"Crazy Lady: "He directed me to an open stall. He was so sweet. He was like, 'you can use this stall over.' The last time I was here it was on my birthday. I was with my boyfriend who eventually dumped me. But, whatever... you know what I mean? Anyway, I

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1130483654322492672005-10-28T00:06:00.000-07:002005-10-28T00:14:14.333-07:00

...came from a Brazilian. Last night he gave me something that resembled play money. He mumbled something about how he didn't have any U.S. money and walked away. I took a close look at it. It was 50 Reais.I rolled my eyes when I saw it. I knew that it probably was the equivalent of 75 cents. I was a little bit off. I checked the exchange rates. The Reais amount to roughly $21.83. Not bad.I'm not

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1130446006820982682005-10-27T13:30:00.000-07:002005-10-27T13:49:29.913-07:00

Oh, Lord! I cringe just thinking about tomorrow evening.Let me explain. It all goes back to last night. One of the guys who fills in for me every so often came up to me and said that we would be both working in the restroom on Friday night. He said it was going to be busy.This triggered some sort of primordial, territorial response deep inside me. "What?! Don't they think I'm doing good job," I

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1130200927734081372005-10-24T17:34:00.000-07:002005-10-24T23:41:57.133-07:00

Recently I started selling cigarettes. Just performing my civil duty. I sell them individually because my theory is that true smokers should already have a pack on them. It's the social smokers that are my target audience. These are the people that would probably feel guilty for buying a whole pack when they're drunk. At least they'll feel less guilty about buying one or two.I also have an

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1130057322812492302005-10-23T01:41:00.000-07:002005-10-23T10:02:28.556-07:00

The following conversation occurred on Friday night. The person talking on the cell phone was a very young looking Asian man. He was probably about 25-30 but looked young. One of those guys that aged but never looked it. I thought that he had a calculator watch on at first, but upon further inspection it was just a normal watch that was rectangular.Here we go:"HEY RAY!... WHAT'S GOING ON? ... I'M

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1129880127230184992005-10-21T00:26:00.000-07:002005-10-21T00:35:27.230-07:00

This occured last night. It's pretty indicative of what happens every night.Woman: "Do you have to stand there all night?"Y.E.LR.A.: "Yes."Woman: "Why?!"Y.E.L.R.A: "Because it's my job."Woman: "Oh."***************************This evening a man walked into the restroom and following conversation took place:Y.E.L.R.A: "How are you, sir?"Man: "What?"Y.E.L.R.A: "How are you?"Man: "What?"Y.E.L.R.A: "

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1129844407827454892005-10-20T14:28:00.000-07:002005-10-20T14:40:07.860-07:00

Last night a woman came up to me and asked, "If I give you a couple of bucks, will you do me a favor?"Since I was in work mode, I agreed. Gotta be nice to the customers and all that shit.She then said, "I'm going to send a guy to the restroom. Will you tell him that you find me attractive?"My immediate thought was: Good God, what did you get yourself into?My second though was: Good God, how am I

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1129615113273870822005-10-17T22:15:00.000-07:002005-10-18T17:29:27.413-07:00

Now that I'm on the subject of odors, allow me to share another pleasant story from Friday evening. If you're eating dinner you might want to come back a little bit later on.My Friday was quite pleasant. Things weren't too difficult. Every so often I would see different guys that had to be part of a large group. How did I know that they were together? Each guy held two bottles of beer. Quite

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1129507148414551422005-10-16T16:56:00.000-07:002005-10-16T16:59:08.420-07:00

A man reeking heavily of cologne came up to me last night and asked, "Do you have any cologne?"I almost asked him if he thought that was necessary.

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1129362505790062122005-10-15T00:34:00.000-07:002005-10-15T00:48:25.820-07:00

There has been a bizarre trend as of late where Your Ever-Lovin' Restroom Attendant has been receiving change as a tip. I'm not talking a couple of dollars here. Last week a woman did unload her change purse on me. It added up to something around $2.45. I guess her heart was in the right place, but it's kinda weird. I could have done without the pennies. What I'm talking about is money adding up

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1128970996351621772005-10-10T11:39:00.000-07:002005-10-10T12:07:03.966-07:00

I set a personal record on Friday night. I prevented FOUR couples from entering stalls together. Yes, folks! Friday was interesting. Here's the breakdown:Couple #1: Woman walked into the stall and her man came up to me. He leaned in real close as if he was doing a drug deal and said, "I'm gonna go in there for a few minutes if you don't mind."He then reaches for his money clip and tries to give

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1128630646912703492005-10-06T13:10:00.000-07:002005-10-08T16:20:29.516-07:00

Personality Type #2: The BobThe Bob is the type of person who is entrenched so far into his job that he takes it everywhere. Usually seen chatting on the cell phone as they enter the restroom. The possibility that said cell phone is a Treo is ever-increasing. Extra points for Bobs with Bluetooth clip on ear pieces.Bobs talk in that hyper-excited "let's-be-friends-but-only-at-work" voice as

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1128629381910588562005-10-06T13:04:00.000-07:002005-10-06T13:09:41.916-07:00

Man: Do you have a mint?Y.E.L.R.A.: Yes. (reaches to give one to man)Man: Just kidding.For the life of me I can't figure out if he was fucking with me or if it was some sort of private joke that only he and the invisible gnome that lives in his pocket understood. Probably the latter. However, that was a lame attempt at fucking with me. All he succeeded in doing was confusing me. He could have at

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1128137081823505432005-09-30T20:18:00.000-07:002005-09-30T20:24:41.830-07:00

So, my ex-roommate showed up at the restaurant last night. It was bound to happen. She always was the type of person to gravitate towards money and latch on like a parasite.I successfully evaded her. Hooray for Y.E.L.R.A.!I'm not ashamed of my job. It's just that I would have to be nice to her and play catch up as if either one of us cared. Plus, all I could see myself saying is, "um... yeah...

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1127764505467346782005-09-26T12:19:00.000-07:002005-09-26T12:55:05.526-07:00

Your Ever-Lovin' Restroom Attendant had a wacky weekend full of celebrities (major and minor ones), children dressed like Disney characters, and SEX! Yes kids, I had to prevent more couples from slapping nasties in the stalls.All hell broke loose on Saturday evening when a large group of people showed up at one time. A girl with a dress the size of a postage stamp entered a stall and her thuggish

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1127373224868246322005-09-22T00:09:00.000-07:002005-09-22T00:13:44.873-07:00

Prissy Bitch: "Do you have to stand here all night?"Y.E.L.R.A: "Well, it is my job."P.B.: "What do people do in here?"Y.E.L.R.A.: "Um... they go to the bathroom....?"P.B.:"And... ?"Y.E.L.R.A.: "That's pretty much all they do when I'm in here."

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1127161225907814482005-09-19T13:16:00.000-07:002005-09-19T13:20:25.913-07:00

'Tis Talk Like a Pirate Day!Anyone caught pissin' on the seat will be forced to walk the plank! Methinks the sharks will be happy with shove some human meat down their gullets!Enjoy yourselves, landlubbers!Yarrr.

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1127068239697676732005-09-18T11:01:00.000-07:002005-09-18T11:30:39.750-07:00

Your Ever-Lovin' Restroom Attendant came face-to-face with an interesting new problem this weekend: What happens when men don't know it's a unisex restroom. Two fine examples popped up on Friday and Saturday night.(1) Friday evening: A man walked into the restroom, picked a stall, propped the door open with leg, and began to urinate. I sat there patiently, listening to him tinkle, all the time

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1126979482563705652005-09-17T10:07:00.000-07:002005-09-17T10:51:22.596-07:00

Y.E.L.R.A. got off rather late last night. A party comprised of somewhere around 100 people came to whoop it up at the ol' place of employment. Usually it's not a bad thing, but there were a few unique things about this party. First, they worked at another restaurant across town. Which leads to number two: since they are restaurant people, the party was not scheduled to start until around

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1126767081219566332005-09-14T23:40:00.000-07:002005-09-14T23:51:21.223-07:00

Y.E.L.R.A.: "The stalls are all occupied. If you can wait just a few seconds, one is bound to free up.Guy I Wanted to Punch: "What about that one?"Y.E.L.R.A.: "They're all occupied, sir."G.I.W.T.P.: "But the light isn't on."*Y.E.L.R.A.: "I understand that, sir. The light is burnt out. They are all still occupied at this time."G.I.W.T.P.: "What about this one?"Y.E.L.R.A.: "Sir, they are all

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8777866.post-1126636931581811792005-09-13T11:22:00.000-07:002005-09-13T11:42:11.620-07:00

...that my job sucks. The following are real quotes from guests in the restroom:(1) "I so don't envy you right now."(2) "Did you ask for this job?"(3) "Awww, looks like you drew the short straw tonight."(4) "Are you on bathroom duty?"(5) "I hope you get moved up from here." (The guest winked when she said that)(6) "Where's your next job going to be?" (???)(7) "You realize you can't do this job

t.a.f.k.a.y.e.l.r.a.http://www.blogger.com/profile/01489730151056497385noreply@blogger.com4