Monday, October 31, 2005

The Aftermath pt.2

The Tale of the One-Legged Black Cowboy

Friday night started off rather strange. At roughly 6:30 in the evening, a odd looking bald black man wearing a suede cowboy hat limped out of a stall. He removed his hat and placed in on the surface of the sink.

The unique thing about our sink is that it is a flat surface. For the untrained eye it looks like another bar. Good God sometimes I wish it was a bar. I'd have something strong to drink all night long.

Now, when the man placed his hat on the sink, he set it right in some water that had collected from a previous user. I kindly let him know that he set his hat in some water. He reaction was... well... less than courteous.

"Shit! Mothafucka I paid a lot of money for this hat," he said as he wiped off what little water was on the hat. He then turned to me and asked, "You got cologne over there?"

I apologized and let him know that I didn't.

"You shine shoes?"

"I'm sorry sir, I don't," I let him know. At this point I was wondering what he was getting at. Possibly he thought he was in a pre-9/11 airport.

"Shit. You should be shining my shoes or something."

He then continued to mumble odd things in an attempt to belittle me. Thankfully I recognized a regular and started to talk to her about anything I could come up with. She seemed a bit puzzled by the man's actions as well.

Being the courteous restroom attendant that I am, I wished the man a pleasant evening as he walked out the door. He then turned to me and asked, "What? You wanna tip from me?"

"No, sir. I'm not asking you for any monetary compensation."

"Well, I'm gonna give you a tip anyway," he stated in a loud voice. "Don't accept wooden nickels!" He then proceeded to laugh and flail his extremities around as if he was some sort of bizarre cartoon character. I almost expected him to bounce off of walls as he left. The funny thing was that my manager walked in at the same time the One-Legged Black Cowboy gave me his bit of advice. My manager was a bit confused as well.

This happened a few hours before the party of 500 started. I sighed and then prepared myself for the worst. Oh, brother! It got worse. I'll fill you in tomorrow.

Oh, I almost forgot! Why did I name him the One-Legged Black Cowboy? Because of his limp and he jingled when he walked. I checked his feet for spurs, but alas, nothing. The only thing I could think of is that he had a prosthetic leg.


Anonymous Oedipa Maas said...

And that was just the warm up pitch?

11:43 PM  

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