Friday, January 20, 2006

Three Hearbreaks for the Price of One

Heartbreak Number One

Guy #1: So, that's it? You guys are over?

Guy #2: Pretty much.

Guy #1: But, you guys are great together. What happened?

Guy #2: She wants to have her career and children. It wouldn't work out. She can only have one or the other. She's shouldn't have to give up her career. She's worked hard this far to get where she is at.

Guy#1: Yeah. Maybe you can work it out.

Guy #2: Maybe.

Heartbreak Number Two

Dude: I had to kick my best friend's ass.

Chick: What?

Dude: Yeah, my brother's stupid.

Chick: Why?

Dude: The dumbshit just got engaged and now he wants to back out of it.

Chick: Aww, that's bad. Wait... Is it your brother or your best friend?

Dude: He's my best friend and my brother. My parents adopted him when we were thirteen.

Chick: Oh. So, he wants to back out of it? Why?

Dude: 'Cuz he's a dumbass.

Heartbreak Number Three

Woman walks into the restroom crying. She grabs a tissue, walks out and sits on one of the chairs near the entrance to the restroom. As she is crying, her mother walks up to her.

Mother: Why don't we go somewhere else?

Woman: Where else can I go?

Mother: Okay...

Woman: Mother, you knew that was private information.

Mother: I know.

Woman: (sobbing uncontrollably) You know I wasn't ready to get married. He met her right after we broke up and now, they're getting married. I always thought he was the one for me. Now, I can't even pursue him anymore because he's going to get married.


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