Thursday, November 03, 2005

The Aftermath pt. 4

My previous post must have some readers thinking that last Friday night was the most chaotic thing that I've ever seen. I'll let you in on a little secret: They're right. That's not to say that I didn't make the best of it. For one thing, my coworker and I passed the time by tossing a roll of toilet paper from one end of the restroom to the other. No one seemed to mind it. In fact, a few people joined in the fun while they were waiting.

Another thing that made the evening go by quicker is that it was a Halloween party, so most of the guests were wearing costumes. Many of the women wore the skimpiest things I've ever seen. From a male's pespective, I have to say that this made the evening more bearable as well. It just worries me that women would actually wear something like that. These women had no shame. I'm not complaining, yet I worry. Go figure.

One gentleman who was waiting for a stall struck up a conversation with me about the many attractive looking costumes that the women were wearing. I agreed with him. He then said, "Watch this!" He went over to a girl that was taking a picture of some friends and pulled up her ruffled skirt, exposing her to the world. She pushed her skirt down and ignored him. He did it again and she laughed at him. I'm pretty sure that she did not know this man. Again, I'm not complaining, yet I worry.

Where does this all lead to? Well, I've decided to compile a list of the most interesting costumes I saw on Friday night. Here goes nothing:

Funniest Costume: Legendary Blue Oyster Cult percussionist Gene Frenkle walked into the restroom at one point. I had heard him earlier in the evening but hadn't seen him. He told us that he really liked the place, but it really needed more cowbell. Then, he proceeded to bang the cowbell until he closed the stall door.

Funniest Couple Costume: There was a woman wearing boxing gloves, a donkey mask, and a wife beater with the words "DONKEY PUNCH" emblazoned on the back. I asked her to confirm what I saw and she said she was in fact Donkey Punch Girl. She asked me if I had seen her boyfriend. After she described him, I remembered him. He was wearing a giant sombrero, a whooly moustache, and a t-shirt with the words "DIRTY SANCHEZ" on the back. It was so much better that the lame shining knight/fair maiden couples I saw all night.

Most Tech-Savvy Costume: A man dressed fully in white from head to toe was wearing a big dial on his chest. It was a homemade dial with "fast-forward,""rewind," "stop," and "play" options on it. The best part was that the dial was hanging around his neck by a shoestring. I asked him if he was an iPod Shuffle. He was happy that I guessed right because everyone else thought he was an iPod. Well, he didn't have a screen. What else could he have been?

Best Group Costume: The cast from Napoleon Dynamite. The guy who played Kip was dead on. There were other groups who dressed as the Average Joe's team from Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story but they weren't that imaginative. They wrote the name of their team on their shirts with sharpies and it looked like crap. Plus, that movie was lame. I saw the last 15 minutes of it on HBO the other day. A sad waste of film.

Best Celebrity Outfit: There was woman wearing a black, sleeveless shirt and had her hair pulled back. She had two baby dolls attached to her side, one was Asian, the other black. I didn't get it. She showed me her "Billy Bob" tattoo and explained that she was Agelina Jolie.

The "My Idea Was Better Than His" Outfit : One man wore a hunting cap complete with earflaps. I asked him if he was Holden Caulfield. By his reaction I understood that he had no idea that there was a book called Catcher in the Rye. He explained that he was a hunter from Wedding Crashers. I liked my idea better.

The WTF outfit: A woman had a nice dress on, but was exposing one of her breasts. Okay, it was a fake boob that you get at the Halloween store, but it was sticking out. She went up to my coworker and screamed "Guess who I am!" She went into the stall and never told him. My best guess was that she was Tara Reid (NSFW). Come to think of it, after seeing those pictures I'm pretty sure that's what she was.

And finally...

The God Bless Wes Anderson Award: I saw several Steve Zissous that night. God bless Wes Anderson.

Until later,


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