Thursday, October 06, 2005

Personality Type (#2 in a series)

Personality Type #2: The Bob

The Bob is the type of person who is entrenched so far into his job that he takes it everywhere. Usually seen chatting on the cell phone as they enter the restroom. The possibility that said cell phone is a Treo is ever-increasing. Extra points for Bobs with Bluetooth clip on ear pieces.

Bobs talk in that hyper-excited "let's-be-friends-but-only-at-work" voice as demonstrated in the following conversation:

Bob#1: Hi Bob!

Bob#2: How ya doing Bob?

Bob#1: Great! Did you see the report that Sam sent you this morning?

Bob#2: Sam...? Sam...? Sam... who...?

Bob#1: Sam Waterston from over at Logistical Assholes.

Bob#2: Oh, yeah! I was quite surprised when he said that the GFDs are having so much problems. Aren't we having dinner with him next week?

Bob#1: We sure are, Bob.

Bob#2: Well, I'll have to talk to him about it then. Right now I'm really concentrating on the Hammond account for Marketing.

Bob#1: I know what you mean, Bob. Say, how's your handicap?

Bob#2: Well, it's getting better, Bob. Last week I was over at the Fair Oaks with Jim...

[and, CUT!]

Gotta walk away when the Bobs start talking about golf. We'd be here all day.

By the way, it's best to read the above conversation out loud a la Judd Nelson berating Anthony Michael Hall in The Breakfast Club. Y'know... the one when he talks about fishing. It's pretty dead on.

Anyway... I digress.

Bobs are only concerned about two things: their job and themselves. They rarely talk to anyone other than a business partner while on a business dinner. Even when greeted by yours truly, they don't say a thing, unlike the Neandertal who at least emits a grunt.

The female version of the Bobs are called Sarahs. The Sarahs are similar, but will talk to you, albeit as if they were talking down to you. Sarahs are always excited to be anywhere they go. They are most comfortable working for Human Resources where they fire people while making them feel as if the Sarah is their best friend.


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