Friday, December 16, 2005

Aaah... the Holidays. I mean, AAAAARRRGGHHH! THE HOLIDAYS!

Oh, man. I cannot wait for the holidays to be over.

It's not that I'm a Scrooge or anything. I'm just tired of dealing with really drunk people and/or idiots. I'll give you some fine examples:

Example #1:

A drunk man walks in. I let him know that the third stall down is open. He immediately went to the first stall and started pushing. Since it was occupied and locked, he was having some difficulties.

"No, sir," I said,"the third stall."

Of course he went to the second stall a met with the same problems.

"Sir, the third stall."

I counted them aloud, one, two, three as if playing 'Duck, Duck, Goose' with the stall doors.

"Oh," he said, "I've never been here before. Sorry."

Sure, that made sense.

Example #2:

Towards the end of the evening a woman attempted to wash her hands. Admittedly, the method of getting water out of the tap is rather confusing. People often think that it's motion-sensored because the design has the handles hanging under a small ledge. It's all asthetically pleasing, but confusing. Part of my job is to explain how it works.

I noticed that this woman -- who was pretty damn drunk at this point -- was having some problems. She just cupped her hand under the handle and waited for the water to come out. Of course, nothing happened. That's when I came in.

"Just pull up, ma'am" I said in a rather calm voice.

"What?" she slurred.

"Pull up."

By this point I was getting a little testy, but I was trying to remain calm. It was a crappy night. People really were trying my patience last evening.

"What?" she slurred again. "I don't get it."

She continued to cup her hand under the handle.

"Watch me," I said. I then went to the faucet right next to her and pulled up. Like magic, water came out of the taps!

"Oh..." she sang, "thank you very much."

When she was finished, she walked -- if you can call it that -- out of the restroom while grinning and thanking me several times. Sure, she was nice, but annoying.

Example #3:

A man walked into the restroom. He was dressed in jeans, a flannel shirt, and what looked to be hiking boots. As you can probably surmise, we don't normally see lumberjacks in our restaurant.

"This is pretty fancy!" he exclaimed while scoping out the restroom.

If you know you're going to a nice restaurant, dress nice. Especially if it's for a holiday party. Your co-workers and/or friends will thank you for it. People are not going to take you seriously if you look like you're about to fell a redwood tree. Shouting about how fancy a place isn't going to help the situation, either.


So, I'm thinking that most of the people who read this work in an office situation with friends of mine. Thanks for reading. Thanks to my friends for spreading the word. Have a great holiday. I'll be posting a little for the next week. So, if you get a chance to surf the net while out of the office, think of Your Ever-Lovin' Restroom Attendant and stop by.

By the way, I'm working on New Years Eve. I'm pretty positive that I'll have plenty of stories to tell.


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